Decisions, decisions, decisions….(conversation with self)—somebody help me

After all the turmoil I faced before entering college, I never thought I would get to this point. I will actually be graduating next year and I am still unsure of the career path I want to pursue. So I decided to have a conversation with myself (I am starting to see the schizo tendencies..)

Tahnee: So you will be graduating next year? What do you plan?
Tahnee 2: OMG! I do not know what I want. 

Tahnee 1: What do you see yourself doing?

Tahnee2:  I see myself in law school. I also see myself in an office. I see myself in the corporate setting. But I see myself the most as a mom. (I would not explain why I have this huge yearning for kids as soon as possible because the story is too long that it will deviate me from the topic of my monologue)

Tahnee 1: Hmmm…now that’s hard. It will be hard to be a mom if you plan to go to law school.

Tahnee 2: Exactly! I want to have children. But at the rate I’m going, I don’t know when I can have them. If I end up going to law school, I will graduate with a degree in law at the age of 28. So when will I start practicing? I cannot exactly have my children while I’m in law school. I am not leaving them with the nanny or my mother (heaven forbid!)

Tahnee 1: What about if you work after graduation?

Tahnee 2: There’s that option. I want to work in the corporate setting. I don’t mind being in Human resources. I also don’t mind being in Marketing or sales. I know that I get a substantial amount and i will be able to make sure I am comfortable and my children will get everything they need. But I know that I might be able to save more if I take up law. 

Tahnee 1: Don’t think about the money. Think about what you want to do.

Tahnee 2: I know I am not supposed to think about the money. But I have to be practical. Remember, I want kids. You can’t just pop them out without computing. Besides I really envision myself poring over thick books and studying different laws. So it’s not just the money. I really want it.

Tahnee 1: So if you want it, go for it.

Tahnee 2: But I’m not sure if I want law school enough to dedicate my time to it. I know I want it a lot. But I’m not too sure if that A LOT is enough for me to give up the time when I can concentrate on building my career and family. Am I making sense?

Tahnee 1: Somewhat…

Tahnee 2: So now I am still lost…

Tahnee 1: We both are now….

So that’s how my conversation with myself ended. Sigh…What do I do…still lost and searching